Fifty and Not Fecked

I had written a post I’d entitled “Fifty and Fecked”, about how it was hard getting back into employment once you’re into your fifth decade and find yourself out of work. It was a bit of a moan, so I’ve decided I’ll post it if and when I make a real effort – a real effort – to find myself a job. (And only then if I find it actually is quite difficult.)

Born to Run

Born to Run

Instead, I decided to summarise some points from an excellent essay from Garrison Keillor, entitled “Stop Complaining” from a book “50 Things to do When You Turn Fifty”, which is much more positive. Keillor (who’s actually in his Sixties) gives a Moustachian punch in the face to the elderly tendency to moan about almost everything, and recommends some alternative strategies which, I think, are good ones to remember. I also think they apply to almost anyone over twenty, not just those of us thinking about retirement.

  • Stop complaining about growing old. Nobody cares. Instead when people ask how you are, say “Absolutely great, Never better.”
  • Lose 20 pounds in weight. Eat one meal a day, two snacks. That’s all you need. Have one feast day a week when you eat what you like.
  • Give up TV and newspapers for six months or a year and sample an “unmediated life of direct experience”. You might like it.
  • Adopt a new dress style, but make it appropriate. No ponytails! Risk being a bit more conventional in a cool way. Stay trim, keep smart.
  • Put your past behind you and find something that will absorb you today. Your heart’s desire, not anyone else’s.
  • Start telling the truth. Say what you think. Express outrage if necessary. Don’t fear what the Big Cheeses in your life might think. You’re past that.
  • Express simple preferences. Don’t want to do dinner Saturday night with those moaners from across the street? Then don’t. Relax with a glass of wine and talk to your loved ones instead.
  • Talking of wine, try cutting out the booze for six months, if only to simplify things for a while.
  • Fifty is an excellent age for reform.

I really like the sentiments he expresses (apart from cutting out the booze!) Every now and then it’s a good idea for me to turn down the cynicism and sarcasm – much as I enjoy revelling in such an outlook – and turn my attention more to the positive things in life. Inevitably these are the simple things that generally cost little or no money. The moderate life. There’s a lot to be said for it.

The Weird and Almost Scary Power of Goal Setting

As I’m writing and reading blogs about FIRE, one of the recurring themes I notice revolves around goal setting. Now, I’m not going to bore you with a step by step guide on how to set goals “properly”, as there are is a massive library of information on the subject available at the click of a mouse (the best of which, IMHO, is Brian Tracey’s book, “Goals”. )

Over the years, I’ve used goal setting, affirmations, visualisation and NLP techniques to see if I can change my behaviour. It works, up to a point, for me. Apart from anything else though, I found it interesting and fun to learn about and experiment with the concepts and the instructions on what you need to do achieve the best results. Over time, I probably began to use the methods as part of the way I approached life without really thinking about it. For example, it has only very recently occurred to me that I had a very defined goal to retire early from my work. I had a spreadsheet that detailed how my finances might grow and a projected date that I could walk out of the office and not look back. Not only did I have the goal in my mind, I’d written it down, I had a time bedded in (November 2018), I had alternative scenarios mapped to help me get there and I worked on the spreadsheet a lot, maybe even weekly. In other words, a pretty good recipe to facilitate the achievement of the goal.

I didn’t actually realise this at the time. That spreadsheet was just something I was working on. It only began to occur to me that I’d been goal setting when I achieved my target early, thanks to my work making me redundant and coming up with financial compensation that bridged the gap between January 2015 and November 2018 almost perfectly (weirdly enough) . I then started joking with people that one of my issues with Early Retirement was that I was so focused on achieving the retirement, I’d forgotten to set any goals for life after it happened, something that I feel has more than a kernel of truth within it.

I was musing on this the other morning after my early swim at the gym (an output of previous goal setting, incidentally). I felt I needed to write out some broad goals and objectives for the coming year as I was feeling that I’ve had enough of pleasantly drifting through the days.  To get me started, I jotted down 10 potential targets to work on. I didn’t give the application the full nine yards as per Brian Tracey’s book, but it was a start.

About half an hour later,  I arrived back home and had a few things I needed to do. Near the top of the list was a despised task: “ironing”. In our household, my wife and I do our own ironing, because we both hate it. When I was working, I paid to get it done for me. Those were the days.

Oh well, I thought, at least I can listen to some Podcasts while I’m doing it, maybe Dave Ramsey, as I’m currently reading a book of his. I opened my Ipad to browse my Podcast list while the iron heated up. Hmm, Tim Ferriss, long time, no listen, due to his utter hagiography of Silicon Valley billionaires. Pathetic. Mind you, that one with Scott Adams, cartoonist of of Dilbert fame, that should be different, that might be a bit of light entertainment. I’ll give him another chance.

I put it on and within fifteen minutes there was a somewhat intense (but lighthearted) discussion about the power of affirmations, goals and systems. I had to laugh –  what are the frigging chances of that happening immediately after I write my own goals and state to myself that I’m going to get seriously back into that stuff? Really? It’s borderline weird, as if The Universe has said, “Okay Jim, we’re with you on this. If you’re up for it, so are we, so have this nudge free of charge”.

When I’ve done goal setting in the past, I’ve found that this kind of strange “circumstantial” thing happens quite a lot. To give two examples that immediately spring to mind: I once wrote down a goal to pick up with an old ex-colleague I hadn’t spoken to for years. I wrote down, “I called Alan this week, before Thursday, and had a good chat with him”, or something along those lines (I forget the exact technique and wording you use for goal setting. Clearly I need to brush up!) I visualised doing it, looked up his mobile to be sure I had it and put it on my goal list.

The next morning, completely out of the blue, and after maybe a five year gap, Alan called me! I was gobsmacked. And I’ve just checked this in my diary. It happened literally the next day. What’s the chances?

A similar thing happened with golf. I hadn’t played in years but badly wanted to get back into the game, so I wrote a precise goal about returning to it. The next day – the very next day – I received my very first invite to attend a client’s annual golf day later that year. I’d never been invited before, don’t know how they got my name or knew I might be interested.

I could go on, but actually I suggest you listen to the Tim Ferriss/Scott Adam podcast for similar stories. I found listening to the discussion almost creepy. I have no idea how this might be explained, but Scott and Tim ponder the possible scientific (?) and psychological/behavioural factors that may be contributing to the process. It’s interesting stuff. But it’s not half as interesting as when you set a goal and something like this happens to you. And I bet it has, so feel free to tell us in the comments below!